Calling it “large-esque fetishes” is kind of weird. It’s not a fetish. This a legitimate fact, as there are many studies that would show a diversity of cultures where being overweight(we’re not talking morbidly obese) is desired. This could apply to different countries or even different cultures within the United States. This shows that someone can truly be attracted to a larger person, and it’s not fetishized. To say “everyone is attracted to people who are healthier sizes” is a brazen statement to make.

Listen, I agree this commentary in OP is naive and excessively whiny, but I personally wouldn’t go as far as to defend the person who is now attracted to the in-shape person. Just as much could be said about people who desire companionship, and recognize someone who is struggling, but putting the work in- they might want to be there for them while they do that work. In fact, that’s a very lonely process that you may be aware of.

It’s fine if people lean towards physical attraction over other traits, go on and do what you do, but to claim that everyone is that way is fairly naive in my opinion. OP should have realized “Oh this person needs physical attraction, so that’s not someone I should date” and likewise, the other person should be self-aware enough to realize “Oh, this person had to deal with some issues, and I wasn’t really ready to be open about that with them, so we’re probably not going to connect on a lot of things” Be aware if you reject someone for their weight that it’s probably going to hurt their feelings. It’s not your fault, but it’s also not right to say, “well duh your overweight isn’t this obvious?” Again, being attracted to overweight people might be in the minority, but it is NOT a fetish.

Basically, they’re in the same position to just go they’re separate ways. The boundaries weren’t set when they first talked with each other, but it doesn’t mean they probably don’t still exist.