Fat Rant Tuesday

so fucking angry with myself. I’m back up to 156.8, from 148 at my lowest in October. I’m so tired of working hard, sticking mainly to my calories (having a few days where I overeat or go to maintenance, but not enough to account for 10 fucking lbs of weight gain), and not making progress or even going backwards.

I know the science, I know how thermodynamics work, but damn, stuff like this really does make you want to give in to the whole “some people just gain weigh” thing that FAs preach about. I’ve struggled with my weight for years, and I’m so fucking tired of it. I’m 5’6, and if I could get down to even 140 I’d be ecstatic, but at this point I really feel like giving up.

I rarely seem to gain water weight but instead real weight, and I think I’ve experienced a whoosh maybe twice in the past two and a half years I’ve been trying to lose weight. I already eat a pretty healthy diet and don’t drink anything calorific, so the only thing I can think to do is try to cut down on carbs even though I don’t have PCOS. I also don’t eat very much added sugar in my diet.

I don’t have a thyroid problem, and getting a DEXA scan really does not fit into my budget right now. I don’t weigh my food, as that’s not really feasible rn, but I don’t lie to myself about serving sizes.

I’m just so tired and feel so defeated and like I’ll never lose weight. I know the scale isn’t everything, and that I am looking better (which makes no fucking sense), but I just want to accomplish this thing that I’ve been trying for literally years.

/r/fatlogic Thread