Fat Shaming?

Shame is not the best motivator. Having good self esteem is the key to improving yourself, thinking you're worth bettering is the key.

I have PTSD, and few other things and have recovered from Binge Eating disorder that I used as a coping mechanism to stop my life when the PTSD kicked in and to keep people away from me. I got very, very big and came very close to suicide a few times. I 100% believe that there is nobody who is significantly overweight who doesn't have a psychological problem with food. Physically it's calories in. calories out so you have to be unbalanced mentally to eat like that, I've been there, I know.

When you're in that place, you know you're fat, you know what's up, those who go down the fat acceptance route just do so to cover those feelings up.

I've been what they would call fat shamed, yelled at in the street when attempting to exercise, strangers coming up to me just to humiliate me, me and everyone else in the various support groups I have gone to who this has happened to, it just made us eat more and our self esteem drop even further. It does happen, and badly as well (although not anywhere nearly as badly as some of the thathappened style stories would have people believe), not just a store not stocking your size or someone looking at you in a grocery store or similar bullshit.

When you really hate yourself, and I mean REALLY hate yourself, your brain is trying to kill you off anyway, everything is very upsetting, "choosing to ignore it" isn't really an option when you were in the situation I was in. It always set back my psychological treatment and the treatment of others I have met. When I was just trying to get through the day, and had people feel the need to go out of their way to humiliate me just because of the size I was, that shit fucking hurt, brushing it off sounds all well and good when it hasn't happened to you.

As my self esteem has gotten higher and my mental health problems have been treated and my weight has dropped, no, these things don't affect me as much anymore, and it hasn't happened in a while because I'm smaller now, but when you're in that place, some cunt doing that to you can really fuck up any progress you're making.

Getting to a place of real happiness has to come from within, you need to focus yourself mentally and work at it until you're there, calling people out for being horrible to people isn't enabling "fake happiness". Happiness needs to come from within.

Putting the blame on the recipient of "shaming" is kind of shitty, maybe the people doing it should work on themselves as well, because in my mind, the people who did those things to me had some serious issues themselves, going out of their way like that to treat a stranger like shit.

Of course it's better to be really content and happy rather than deluded (and most importantly, healthy), but that issue and the issue of saying it's ok to be horrible to people and that the recipient of that treatment should just "get over it" are not mutually exclusive.

People treating people like shit just makes the problem worse. It just perpetuates our culture of people deriving all of their self esteem based on the opinions of others. Now THAT is fake happiness, just doing what you think other people want you to. Working on yourself and cultivating self respect and self esteem, that is the foundation of really being content.

/r/fatlogic Thread