Thank you all for the help and advice. I think I've had some time to process what my father told me and I've calmed down a bit.

For people asking why the debt occurred - it was because of failed business ventures that just didn't work out due to the 2008 crash and then subsequent ventures that also failed. It wasn't due to gambling, drinking, drugs or any other vices - just plain bad luck. I didn't know about these issues because I have been living away from home for 8 years (school and first job) but now I'm back.

As for budgeting, my father earns no money and is basically retired. He owns a house work $365k but is having trouble finding a buyer (he put it up for sale a month ago to get money to pay debt). My parents have moved in with me 3-4 months ago (apt cost is $2199 a month near Oakland, CA). So I basically pay for all food, utilities and everything.

This is my plan of attack: Balance transfer debt to 3-4 credit cards (~15k per card) or put all in 1 card if possible and hopefully get 0% for more than 12 months. After tax and other retirement stuff, I get about $8200 a month and after rent I have basically 6000. If I pay $4,200 a month to the cards and the remaining 1800 can be used to support me, my wife and my parents for food and stuff. At this rate, I should have it paid off in 1 year or a little more.

Let me know if this doesn't make sense or if I missed anything. I'll be very honest I have never had to do any budgeting or personal finance management of any kind until now so I'm worried I'll miss something small and not be able to pay off the debt or worse be charged back interest on the initial amount for the entire year.