My son's father and I split when he was 3. He's now 9. My ex moved to California with his new wife when my son was 5. My ex calls my son a maybe two or three times a month. They have only Skyped 3 times. And once was at the request of my son's stepmother. My son flies out to California in the summer for 2-3wks. And my ex flies home once or twice a year and sees him then. He is so uninvolved. But my son still thinks the sun shines out of his father's ass. Because that's his dad. He has a stepdad. And tells my husband how much he loves him and how great of a stepdad he is all the time. Eventually, my son will realize how little his father has to do with him.

I was talking to my exBIL a couple weeks ago about it. He's also married into the family. So we have a different point of view. He doesn't understand why my ex is such a crap dad. And even told me when he is in town, how he dumps my son off on him and his wife or his brother and SIL because they have kids the same age. I make sure my son sees his aunts, uncles, and cousins on his dad's side. We live close and I don't want him to lose that side of the family. And neither does my exBIL.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around not being there for your kid. And since my ex now has a 1yo, I was hoping it would motivate him to have more to do with his son. It doesn't. And one day he will be sorry. Because while I never badmouth his father in front of him. I remind him to call on his dad's birthday and father's day. His dad is just shitty about his relationship with our son. And I won't be the one who realized I missed out on everything. And if my son decides to stop seeing/speaking to him when he's a little older. I won't force my son too.