I think the last time that I checked in here, I was having crazy anxiety about telling my friend that I couldn't be in her wedding (was supposed to be next weekend). Didn't think she'd postpone it--and she didn't--but the venue forced her to do it. It's in November though. I know we can't make any predictions, but. I just don't know if I feel comfortable being in a room with her since she's done zero social distancing and will continue to do none. She's an anti-vaxxer, and I'm surprised that she's not done anything crazy like host a let's-get-COVID party. I'm not even kidding. So, I guess I need to get anxious again and probably tell her that I'm just not going.

I just feel like if it's not one thing lately, it's another. My partner had a panic attack yesterday because we found out the tribal casinos that their parents love going to are reopening on Monday. Partner doesn't trust their parents to stay home, and that's pretty scary right now. They're nearing 70.

Everything feels so uncertain and dark, and I keep trying to find the light, I even fake the light, but at night my mind races and focuses on every possible bad thing. Thank god for Seroquel.