Feedback sorely needed. Failing to hook readers - is my AU too complicated? [Endling by Deejaymil, Criminal Minds, M, incomplete] More info within thread.

Okay, here's the thing.

It's interesting and intriguing. A bit confusing, though. If I were a reader in the fandom, the confusion might make me withdraw a bit and not get into it...

Here's the key: not right away. I would keep an eye out, wait until more chapters were posted (maybe even wait until it was marked complete), so that I could read further and get some of my questions answered/confusion cleared up while the questions/confusing things were still clear in my head.

Does this make sense?

Let me give an example. I don't know if you know the SF writer C.J. Cherryh. She writes incredibly strange and complex alien species that interact with humans. I love her stuff; very meaty and full of tricky, convoluted interspecies politics and wheeling-dealing and conflict caused by misunderstandings of basic motives.

There is no way on God's green earth that I would read one of her books one chapter per week, or one chapter with a variable amount of time until the next chapter, because...um...it's like reading Shakespeare. You have to immerse yourself in the story, let it soak in, and suddenly everything clicks, and Shakespeare's old-style English just suddenly seems natural. With Cherryh's novels, at some point, it all clicks. You may not truly comprehend what's going on, but you've zenned your way into having a subconscious knowledge.

Um. Don't know if I've explained well.

Anyway, you probably have three categories of readers with your story:

The ones who click in, get confused, and more confused, and then just Nope out.

The ones who click in, get confused, and decide to wait until more chapters have been posted.

And the ones who don't approach it like I do, and read the chapters as they come. They may re-read previous chapters then, to see if their questions are answered.

/r/FanFiction Thread Link - archiveofourown.org