As someone who used to have men “moo” at me in public or say awful things about my size, you’d think, now that I’ve lost all the weight, I’d be revealing at all the sexual attention I get... but I’m not. Being whistled at is just as degrading as being called a “fat pig.”
Looks make me feel confident. A second glance, a smile; those make me feel like I’m attractive... but ogling, cat calling, whistling and comments don’t.
Just last week, I had two guys walking by me at the grocery store. The one closest to me said, “Hey there! Fucking sexy!” It made me super uncomfortable. Enough so that I turned around and said, “Excuse me?” He thought my reaction was funny and that I should be flattered as he had “picky tastes.” “Come on, you like it.” No, no I don’t. So much so that I feel like I want to cover up in 30 degree weather because I just want to go grocery shopping without someone feeling as if they have the right to make it known that my body aligns with their sexual tastes.
Your post is only going to embolden guys like them, giving them the idea that women secretly like men doing what they did. That it’s just not socially acceptable for women to be flattered so we have to react like we don’t like it. When a man cat calls me, I know he doesn’t see me as a person because if he did, he’d have enough respect not to make comments based on my body.
The only people who get a pass are those who say, “Let me get the door, beautiful!” “Here, I’ll get that. A beautiful women shouldn’t be lifting x.” That I’ve always found flattering and respectful. There’s a fine line and it’s crossed way too often.