I feel guilty for wanting the dating experience of a woman

filtering out those who have arbitrary relationship hoops to jump through/problematic behaviors feels like I'm self-selecting out of 90% of the population. That in itself is a whole other level of frightening

Yeah, but you've just got to remind yourself that bad relationships are bad. They're not healthy. They're not affectionate. They're not caring.

It's funny, but I recently spent a good chunk of time talking to a classmate after the end of one of his relationships. We were discussing narcissistic abuse patterns and got to trauma bonding and the article I sent him suggested coming up with strong boundaries, things like "I will not sleep with anyone that belittles me or calls me names."

I had to laugh my ass off. I decided somewhere around 25 or so that I didn't need to sleep with anyone that didn't know me well enough to know my dead brother's name. There's a backstory behind that, but...

It's amazing how having that one little checkmark to tick off has absolutely upended the paradigm. And it's also made it blatantly clear how little of the attention I receive has anything to do with me.

Your boundaries and standards are beautiful fucking things, my brother. You set one. Does the person your with respect it? Or do they argue with you about it? Do they tell you you're just too uptight? That you just expect too much from people?

The people who shīt on your boundaries are indirectly telling you that they don't care about you. That they know what you need better than you. That your desires will always come second to their wishes.

The ones that respect them are saying they respect you and your ability to decide your own life.

If anyone is fucking with your boundaries, that's when your self-worth needs to kick in and you need to kick that person to the curb. They're not looking for a relationship, they're looking to exploit your desire for caring for their own ends.

You probably will burn through at least 90% of the population. If not higher. But that's simply being true to what you deserve in a relationship. Respect. Dignity. Caring.

The 90% of people that can't give you those things can and should just fuck right off.

/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates Thread Parent