I feel like giving up on love and accepting that I'm ment to be alone.

Obviously I don't have a whole lot of details, but I'm gonna give my two cents anyway, and try to make it worthwhile. It sounds like you are overvaluing "relationships", well maybe not overvaluing them, but certainly misvaluing them. They aren't something you need, and for as long as you pursue them as such, you will be unsatisfied with them. An incredibly common element of storytelling is the idea of a MacGuffin, the idea that there is one thing that will tip the tide of the battle, or make someones character development complete, or conclude the story. The characters spend the whole story trying to get this one specific thing, and when they do they have won. This is not a real thing, they don't exist in real life, but often I have seen people attributing things they don't have as this miracle solution. It sounds like that is what you're doing with a relationship. That, and the fact that you're afraid of losing control of your life would lead you to make the decision not to pursue a relationship because you don't want to fail unwillingly. I think you should not give up, but I think you should not believe love to be such a mighty thing.

/r/lonely Thread