My poor dear pain-sufferer. May I gently suggest a therapist for you who specializes with patients suffering from chronic pain? It won't change your diagnosis but it maybe can give you and hubby coping mechanisms.

Feeling like a burden is soul-crushing. I was so fortunate to not have a child, as it allowed me to essentially 'run away'. My husband did everythig in his power to care for me and suffered from severe caretaker burnout and depression that I was no longer the healthy, active wife.

Now this was my personal choice and while it was not easy at all, it was easy in the sense that we were childless. We split up. But with a child involved, its worth all the effort you can both put in. He loves you. Unfair, horrible illnesses and accidents happen in life. If you are in the US, you get barely any assistance.

Please think about a therapist where your husband can be open about his pressures (or maybe just a therapist for him and one for you).

Be kind to yourself. You did not ask for this. If the roles were reversed I'm quite sure you'd be exhausted, tired, wish your husband was healthy, but would also do your best to support him during these tough times.

Feel the blah. Its okay. Don't exhaust yourself by faking not being in such bad pain or pushing yourself too hard. We certainly owe it to our loved ones to not lash out at them when we are suffering, but some times we will snap. You sound like you care so very much and he cares for you. Take it day by day. You really can't do any more than that. Be kind to yourself.