Feel like I'm drowning 28f and husband 31m

NOTHING IS GOING WRONG!!!!!

Let me start by saying that.

The next year of your life is just going to suck. Less that this, but it will suck. I'm so sorry. New babies blow.

So there are a lot of things on the table right now:

  • In-laws
  • Unsure parents over-compensating (mostly him)
  • Waiting for your milk to come in
  • A C-section
  • Dying relatives
  • Post-pregnancy hormones, including PPD
  • Twins!
  • Your husband losing it because he's terrified
  • No one is sleeping
  • Everyone is in panic mode
  • The end of the world

You are both. just. losing it. Everyone is losing it. You're in the middle of the loony bin right now. But....it gets better. It will. You'll find a rhythm. If you do anything right now, I recommend two things:

  1. Breast feed as often as you can, but supplement as necessary so you don't have hungry, crying babies all the fucking time. You can and will 100% breast feed, but you might need a little time to gear up to that with one baby, let alone two. It is going to take some time so make sure your kids have full tummies and use whatever means necessary. That at least buys you a two hour break to nap. With two babies, you're not going to have supply issues so....just do what you need to. And if that means formula, so be it. If you adopted them, no one would be yelling. That's because it makes a significant but very small difference. Your sanity means more in the long haul.
  2. Take a minute and talk to your husband. He needs a break, you need a break, and you need a minute to remind each other you're crazy about one another and you're in this mess together. When things go to shit, it is easy to be adversarial. You two need a hot second to love one another and to reaffirm you're in this together. He can't use his RN bullshit to step all over you, and you can't be pissed at him all the time. If you prioritize ANYTHING, prioritize him.
/r/relationships Thread