Most of these comments seem kinda naive to me. Maybe it's because I'm a unique sort of alpha... but it's been my experience that most people swing both ways at different times and labeling someone as one way or the other is just narrow-sighted.

It's worth mentioning too that in this day and age men are more hesitant and wanting for not only explicit consent but outright enthusiasm from a woman to show them that's it's ok to embrace the animal parts of their brain. Some men consider a woman dressing up as 'enthusiasm', some wouldn't assume as much until it's revealed in conversation.

This is all separate from other things people look for which you've mentioned: stable job, independent, emotionally intelligent, etc.

In my case, I'll treat a woman as a human being and only flirt casually until the point that she makes it evident that it's ok for me to dominate her. This can all be subtle stuff picked up on over the first couple of dates. TBH I might be the wrong person to give you advice tho as we may just not be each other's type. If I went on a few dates with a girl and she didn't wear a dress or makeup I'm going to think she doesn't want to be dominated.