Well that sounds like a great goal to have, and I’m happy you’re trying to better your life and have some long term plans in place to do so. And I’m also happy that you’re reaching out to people about how you’re feeling, even if it’s strangers online it still counts. At least you’re trying, a lot of people are unhappy with their current situation and just don’t think about it and continue being unhappy. So your ideal situation in one year from now would be, fitness instructor working on a cruise ship, with close friends, and a romantic interest? So if that’s the goal, you’ll need mini goals, and then break those down into small and smaller goals so you’ll never feel lost, Or wonder what’s next. Maybe a smaller goal would be to take some online nutrition classes, or set a smaller fitness goal like run a certain distance or do X pushups. Contact a few cruise companies and ask them what they look for when hiring fitness instructors. But the main point is to now narrow your vision and think smaller and start planning. With a good plan laid out for you you’ll feel more confident with everything and push yourself harder in your work outs and in your social life. I know you’ll get there bud don’t worry, 19 is probably the hardest age. Just don’t give up.