I recommend you find someone in your life that can help shed a light on the problems you are facing. Most things can be dealt with at a steady pace, but an outside view may be useful. Perhaps you have a friend or family member you can trust, but a counselor or coach are options as well.

The world is not out to get you. Whatever paranoid thoughts you are having, they are just thoughts. They are an overlay on a mostly neutral world with people who are mostly just minding their own business. You, among others, are probably not as important to them and even if they judge you, they might do that to ten other people the same day and forget about it in an hour.

If you don't want to believe this, try a simple experiment. In meditation, when these thoughts come, observe and find out, feel, who or what is affected by them. Can you describe or sense this one? Is it you, or is that also just a thought? Find out who you are behind all your thoughts.

I'm not a good person.

This might be surprisingly true, in fact. :)