Life sucks sometimes and often really hard. And during those times the only person who can help us get through those hard and difficult places is ourselves because people aren't always going to be there.

Sadly that's also crappy apart of getting older.

Life is precious, way too precious and short to throw it away over someone else.

It's only human when everything seems hopeless and awful to want to end the suffering but this also means throwing away the only thing we have right now too, our lives, only lives we for sure know we have right now.

Crisis lines can be helpful but they aren't perfect.

But having at least one caring and supportive real life or at least a friend offline that you can call and talk to on really rough days are ever better who say things like, "I selfishly don't want you to die because the world is less lonely place with you in it," is very helpful at least for me.

Anyway I am having rough time myself these days but not due anything related so this probably will be last post here.

But I will say, only you can decide your life has value no matter what. It isn't easy. Sometimes people we desperately want to care about us in ways we want them to care about us doesn't happen, sometimes those people don't even show up at all because they simply don't exist.

But that doesn't mean the people having those desires and those cravings stop existing, it just means we have just have to find new ways of managing those desires and cravings.

I may be asexual but that doesn't mean I don't crave very close platonic friendships and people that care about it me.

But I also realize I am not everyone cup of tea, everyone has desires and dreams of their own that don't always include me.

If I truly care about another human being why I would set demands and expectations that they ignore their own desires and dreams for own short precious lives to fit into my own desires or I'll show them by killing myself?

That just doesn't seem like a very caring act.

No I choose the most painful but caring act, I let them go and do what they need to do, even it's far away from me if it means they can enjoy their lives.

Because that's what kind and loving friend would do when they friend decides they don't want to be around any more.