I completely understand.

I laugh at the people who say use the tactic, "Let them fail on their own.."

How? When you are entangled in a relationship, they control half of everything that affects both lives. I.E Like you point out.

I.E We both decided to use my wifes car insurance policy since it was older and had more benefits when we got married. Now if she forgets to pay I suffer too. So I must exhaust energy by either riding her to pay it each month, or pay it myself. Meaning, I must save my own pay check to insure I have money to cover for her failures.

Never have much money to do things for myself.

I totally understand. And while my wife has never caught our house on fire, I cannot imagine the despair and anger if she did.