Became self aware of hpd 4 years ago while in pits of drug addiction. Kept asking myself- why is this happening? And it turned out it was me and my choices. It is the ‘female version of sociopath’ or what they call gendered version. In childhood i had neglect and emotional abuse from mother with some stuff with father that I have ‘experienced in recovery’ but obviously cannot prove but I am still recovering from it. It is obviously way more complex than this and there is layer upon layer of realisations and re-learning in four years.

My current interests are in trans personal psychology and philosophical frameworks for understanding personal growth. I wrote this post because I was wondering whether male sociopaths were able to recognise they had emotional repression. This is because I used to struggle with shared emotional experiences- aka empathy. But as I have healed more and sat with the repressed emotions from the past, this capacity has increased dramatically. So I wondered what others experiences were.

I know that any person with any mental health condition can transcend their self. When I realised this I thought ‘what else better do I have to do with my life than try achieve self transcendence.’ You know what I mean? What else could be better than personal peace and happiness with your self and the world around you?