I actually really appreciate this post. It helps me understand that perhaps I am identifying with him a bit much. When I first discovered him it was because of his YT lectures regarding mental health, and they were endlessly helpful to me. I happen to agree (and disagree) with some of his political stuff, but his thoughts on individuality and self-reflection were so strong that I idolized him. Perhaps that was the mistake. I catch myself thinking "what would JBP think?" a bit too often. Like you said, I should take what I like from him and build on myself with it. That way when I act, it's with his wisdom + my own, not just what I think he'd think is best.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. This whole situation has led to some chaos in my head, so I'm definitely due for a room cleaning.