Anyone who grew up with real, untreated ADHD knows how extremely socially difficult it was...this paired with our rejection dysphoria caused lots of us a lot of pain

IMO your social anxiety is likely a result of the social harm you were caused by ADHD symptoms you could not help. kind of like a form of learned helplessness, you not listening/pissing people off with ADHD that was out of control hurt you so many times that your brain naturally developed social anxiety to protect you from further harm.

I know more than one ADHD person who said one day they simply grew out of their social anxiety. for me, meds made this anxiety completely disappear because I could listen and think so much clearer. Are you on meds for ADHD? I've also experienced that complete alien-like feeling when it comes to not being to connect with anyone and I too wondered if I had some form of Asperger's. I was wrong though and ADHD meds fixed this problem