When my friends speak about their dreams and ambitions, I feel so fucking shit, why can't I have that drive that makes me work for my dream like they do?

The short answer, because you're depressed. You can't blame yourself for that. All each individual can do is their best. I'm a composer. When I first started dealing with depression, I would get so upset that I couldn't just sit down and write music the way I used to be able to, creatively exploring sounds and melodies. I would try and try to just pull inspiration from thin air, not realizing how much what we call inspiration is simply determined by brain chemistry. The same thing goes for concepts like "drive" and "ambition". They're products of a healthy functioning mind.

I honestly wish that all the years I spent trying to muster up the energy to do things, weeks spent crawling out of bed to my computer and keyboard, hoping to compose a song for the ages, that I had instead focused on getting my mind better first. Once you get your brain in a better state, then you can worry about all the crazy ambitions and goals that used to be there. Realize first and foremost that you are unwell, and that either through medication, therapy, diet, exercise, lifestyle change, or a combination of those things, you need to get better in the head in order to get better at life again.

Also regarding the nofap thing. I don't think you should see that as a failure. You tried something and it apparently wasn't for you. I personally avoid masturbating often because the refractory period of flooding my brain with serotonin leaves me feeling really down. There isn't a one a size fits all for treating depression. For me, it's been a combination of things from medication, to extreme diet changes, to medicine ball workouts. Am I fixed? No. But I'm up and working again which is much better than being drugged up in the safe house bed I was in almost 2 years ago. I hope this helps.