& the rest of this is meaningless conjecture. Stats for transparency: 3.8x/52x, 9 IIs (1 t30, 3 t20s, 5 t10s)

My completely uneducated guess is that you're a non-HYPSM who looked great on paper and got II's to a bunch of T20/T10s with post-II A rates around 30%. The chances of not getting an A to those schools is about 1 in 6. Quite literally a dice roll.

For context, for the "3 IIs -> 1A" heuristic to be mostly true (~95%), the post-II rates at those schools have to be near 63%.

If you were an average r/premed applicant applying broadly, yeah maximum parsimony says you're a shitty interviewer. Since you're clearly >1% of applicants on paper interviewing at very competitive institutions, my bet is that you just were unlucky.