Thank you. Very calming post. Myself, my character is impulsive and i do believe it got amplified, else i cannot explain my behaviour. I had no prior knowledge about BPD or depression in general. I guess, you only care and learn about these things once you were affected. Maybe I was ignorant, but definitely it was too much of a task for me. I still don't know what i was dealing with. However never felt I so much love in such a short time. Suddenly I wrote a poem! I never wrote a poem in my life. Suddenly, I lost control, coolness, became stupid. The hurt is immense. My brain feels bruised. I feel powerless, it feels not right, feels like wrong decisions. But what can I do. I felt that she loved me but she tried to ignore it and succeeded. She did not listen to her heart, why ... God knows.

I fell into a trance, literally like being on drugs, and i m just coming down. .