Hey there, I can kind of relate to the fuck everything feeling when a cycle doesn't work out how you planned. But I also wanted to echo some of the advice in this thread. Get the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and read it cover to cover. I really felt empowered after reading it which is no small thing when TTC.
Another thing as others have said, temping is extremely helpful and offers you a lot of information about your cycle. Get Fertility Friend and a basal thermometer. The app is free and you can get the thermometer for like $8 on Amazon.
Getting pregnant is hard work! It's not all fairies and clouds like some women make it seem. And though there are some women who seem to be fertility gods or something most of us will have to put in some work. Some of us will have to put in a lot of work. It's just the way it is and with most things it's harmful to compare ourselves to others.
Seeing your gyno is a good first step but most gynos are not equipped to manage getting a woman pregnant. If you are truly concerned and want firm answers and statistics on how long getting you pregnant will take then seek out a fertility center. Be warned, it may not be covered by insurance but a consult shouldn't be too expensive if it isn't. My insurance covers all fertility testing but does not cover any fertility procedures like IUI or IVF. I've gotten all of my testing, labs, ultrasounds, etc covered no problem and I did not have to wait 6 months or a year to see the reproductive endocrinologist. In fact, I was referred by my gyno because the temping and charting I was doing revealed that I had a short luteal phase which is not conducive to pregnancy so she referred me after just one month of trying. My point is that if you are keen on getting answers because it will give you some peace of mind and a sense of control you likely don't need to wait to see a specialist. Ask your gyno for a referral or even just try calling up a fertility center and requesting an appointment.
Lastly, as others have said your response does seem quite intense so it might be very helpful to find a therapist while you are TTC. It's a hard process with lots of ups and downs. I am not usually an emotional person but I have had some dark moments when I realized a cycle didn't work out. It's hard and frustrating. And a therapist can really help. It's not silly to want help sorting through all of those feelings. And to be sure, those feelings are all very real and valid.