Feeling guilty about how I acted in my last relationship

I got into a long distance relationship with a girl I met online when I was thirteen or so. Dated on and off for a couple years, and wound up breaking up with her in an ugly fashion due to a mixture of not being able to handle the distance, and lots of trauma-related commitment/intimacy issues.

I regretted it for years, and despite having plenty of other relationships over that time, never got over her, nor was I able to bring myself to actually care about any of those relationships.

It was only once I reached out to her and apologized for how I handled everything (though I wasn't honest re: the mental issues) that I was finally able to get over it.

She then reached out to me after a bad breakup during the worst period in my life, and things went a similar way (though in a much shorter timeframe). Three years on, I still wasn't over it, and still thought about her all the time.

Reached out to apologize again. She wasn't at all receptive, and I don't blame her, but yet again, sending that message, while utterly terrifying, was like flipping a switch. Not that I don't still love her, and I'd still welcome any kind of relationship, but it was such a relief to have at least just let her know that I was sorry, even if that didn't change anything, was so helpful.

Don't let it stew any longer. Don't expect a response. You don't need to go into a lot of detail if you don't want to, but if you want to apologize, do it. You will regret not apologizing until you do.

/r/offmychest Thread