Feeling guilty about a roll

There's nothing wrong with working on just putting weight on someone and stablising an advantageous position, particularly as a white belt. Certainly I (a one stripe white belt) try to do this when I mount someone good enough that I'm pretty sure they'll just escape if I try a sub without really wearing them down first. This is part of the sport, as is learning to cope with someone doing that to you.

Something you should be concerned about is if you are showing less than usual care for your training partners because your ego is bruised. Again, I don't think you did anything wrong in practice here, but if you're doing stuff you personally think is dickish because you're feeling frustrated at your own lack of effectiveness, that's...maybe a sign you should think about what you want to get out of BJJ.

BJJ is my second hobby, after music, and mostly just gets me away from a desk job that offers few sources of immediate gratification (I'm an academic). I do it because it's a great workout and because I get to fight with people a bit, which is fun, and I don't really expect to be good at it. So long as I get a bit better each time, I don't compare myself much to my classmates (although if you pressed me I'd say I'm about average).

Oh also hi r/BJJ this is my first post in you.

/r/bjj Thread