I’m not saying it’s right to make kids feel unloved. I do expect gifts to be given to stepkids. I’m just saying love can (and usually does) look different for step-grand-kids.

My parents do not visit my stepkids in the hospital. They don’t drive ten hours round trip to see their 30 minute band concerts. They don’t call specially on Easter to talk to my stepkids. But my stepkids’ bio-grandparents do.

My parents DO have 529s established for my stepkids, get them gifts on the holidays, and call them on their birthdays - the same as they do for all their other grandkids. They just don’t do ‘the extra mile’ for stepkids like they do with biokids. My stepkids feel loved and welcomed, but also know it’s just a different dynamic.