Feeling like a square peg in a round hole.

I feel you so bad... I had a summer job this summer, I worked at a hotel, I did room service. I had to refill the fridges of every room, serve clients etc... It was one of the most painful experiences... I hate work. It makes me feel so bad.

You know, most of the time, it takes me like 45 minutes to get out of bed. Not because I'm depressed or anything, but because I'm a lazy ass, and I always take my time in the morning. It takes time for me to be fully awaken (and it's no problem for me). But it wasn't like that when I worked. I would wake up every morning in pain. The moment my alarm would ring, I would open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, completely awaken, facing the reality: I would have to work for 9 hours straight.

Every time I arrived at the hotel in the morning I was so anxious. You know every morning I had to go to the laundry service and ask for a clean shirt because the hotel provided you some. That may be dumb, but the simple thing of asking for one shirt was painful. Sometimes there was no one at the laundry room so I would stand around like a fucking idiot waiting for the laundry woman to arrive and open the laundry room. That made me so anxious every morning.

Then I would get ready and start to work. And the worst thing was time. I was watching the clock every 5 minutes, constantly thinking about what time it was and constantly doing the math to know how many time I had left before finishing working.I could'nt get focused on working. I hated that job so bad.

And of course because of my ADHD I would not do things correctly. I would rush things all the time. I tried to do it correctly, take my time to do things, get myself into it. But I ended up rushing things. And that affected my self esteem so bad.

I HATE to work. fuck.

/r/ADHD Thread Parent