"What my parent does/did to me is not normal. This is not how other kids are treated by their parents.

Yes, this is how I deeply and sincerely feel and know to be true based on my observations of the world around me. It seems a lot of people are not wanting to believe or accept it, it is easier to believe that I'm just an angsty person who never grew up, but physical/sexual abuse is just that.

If you knew that then why didn't you run away?

It took me a little while, even still having trouble, letting go and re-programming myself to have a normal perspective, which is when I really realized how different my childhood was and how damaging it was to me as a person.

I did run away, I am on the other side from my country now but still have made the mistake of reaching out to try to resolve issues or get some kind of admission of guilt from my parent because it really was that bad, and at the same time you only get one blood family.

Perhaps you are still holding on to a belief that what happened to you was at least a little bit your fault

Yes, I have been blamed for my own abuse and so I think I have been trained to feel guilty for things that are not really my fault.

Parents are responsible for their kids, not the other way around

That's not what my parent/family would say. Apparently I was just a failure of a child who did not properly take care of my parent well enough.

Furthermore by definition if you have been negatively impacted by your parent's parenting, they have failed at their job.

Furthermore my parent did all this behind peoples backs and maintains this image that she did nothing wrong and for whatever reason I'm just a horrible fucked up being and a crappy kid, that all these negative behaviours came from nowhere, and that I ruined my own childhood.

It's really backwards, causes a lot of inner confusion for me, makes me feel like I was supposed to be raising my parent instead of the other way around.

Her official cover is that I didn't help out enough around the house but I was always willing and ready to do chores, she just expected me to do things she never mentioned or I never knew needed to be done and then threw tantrums and screamed when it wasn't done.

When I still lived in that house I just remember having the realization that this situation is really fucked up, my parent is seriously unstable and I have not been raised as if my parent had any plans for me to be a normal person.