can i confess something? i've been that guy for so much of my life because i've hated feeling weak all my life from being pushed around and treated like a stepping stool. i'm..not sure how to break out honestly. everyone nowadays is all about change and growth and being who you really are but i'm scared of change. i don't know how to be true to myself anymore because i'd rather act tough out of fear of being judged or taken advantage of. i'm so used to this stupid alpha male mentality crap that it's become what i resort to whenever i feel discomfort or when i have my idea of "masculinity" threatened. i've burned a lot of bridges due to my behavior, and while i'm not as bad as i used to be, i feel so trapped. like i have to be this way. like i have to put up this facade with everyone. even my closest friends despite them wanting me to be more open with them. growing up being told to be a man and to like manly things and being expected to fill more men assoiated roles has damaged my way of living more badly than i thought..i just want to be normal. i don't want to be someone else. i want to be me. but i'm so scared to be. what do i do? what does it mean to even be a man anymore?