I think I have been... can you check out the latest exchange? I feel like I'm flirting with him via text and tell me what you think?
Me: Good. Our last mushroom eradicator mistook a harmless edible one for a magic one, decided that a life of crime wasn’t for him, and peaced out. I think he runs an ashram in Sedona now. Send me your CV and include 1. the types of mushrooms you can identify and 2. the different levels of growling at which you’re adept. A portfolio with audio will also be a great bonus. Oh, and don’t forget a cover letter.
Him: So far I've just got morels on my wild mushroom list. I saw so many last year but no idea what they were but I took pictures for future identification. My growl game is mostly based on wolf with a little velociraptor mixed in. Oddly giggle worthy - I mean - terrifying