Fetlife should be invite only!

How is point 2 good? You're denying new people the community website for keeping in touch with people and being able to easily find munches in your area. By doing so, you're basically telling them "go to craigslist" or some such. Forcing new comers to go to some lesser site to try and find someone, and it's more likely that the wrong people will find them there.

Sure, yeah they could come here. But there isn't a subreddit that keeps up to date on munches or anything. This is a good place to learn but, in my case, I've learned alot. But now what? If fet was invite only how would I put what I learned into practice? By hoping some other site would allow me to meet someone who is a good person? I'll tell you. I've been on okc off and on for years. Due to my lack of social skills, it's near impossible for me to get a vanilla date. Or would I need to use Google and hope I find a recent posting about something near me, but missing a good number simply because the organizer didn't spread his particular munch to sites other than fet.

You say you see it as a benefit. How is cutting new people off a benefit? Does it mean you won't see as many "I'm new and need help" posts on fet?

Now onto the pay wall. Even if it's a one time payment, why should I give my card information to a website that I never heard of until recently? Sure, that will cut down on people bring twats. But that also excludes people who can't afford it, or don't want to for whatever reason of their own they may have. You shouldn't be forced to pay money to be able to meet/talk to people. I'm not denying that it's a good way to weed out the bad eggs, but it also weeds out some good ones.

Let's say fet remained free, but people who paid got invites. Even if they had a set amount a month. How would new people know who to talk to in order to get to know them and "prove" we aren't assholes? Do we just ask every single person "do you have invites?" Until we find someone who says yes? For that matter, even if I proved I was a good person, there is nothing to ensure I got the invite. Maybe the only person I found just didn't like the way I look or whatever? It just encourages this elitist attitude. "I have power and you don't" and it will also probably filter out people simply because some paying folks didn't like a specific thing about a person/type of person.

I also fail to see how your final point makes any sense. How is limiting friends going to increase verity? If anything that might lower it. Personally I'd add people who share my kinks first. And say I had a few friends where I didn't share any kinks with that person and I wanted to add a new person. The first ones to be removed would be the people I share no kinks with, effectively removing this verity you mentioned.

This might have come off rather aggressive. I'm not trying to personally attack you or your ideas/feelings on the topic. I'm just trying to find out why you think that way. A lot of what you said strikes me in a sort of elitist way and just doesn't make sense to me.

/r/BDSMcommunity Thread