I agree with you, I really do. I've seen my parents, friends, relatives and even strangers go through all those struggles and more. The divide between Indians, NRIs and ABCDs is something that should not even exist.

I spent majority of my life outside India but I also lived in India for few years. I did a year of high school there too (ugh, 10th board exams, beta what rank did you get?). That experience was a major eye opener for me. I had an awesome time but I was definitely treated as an outlier, similar to how you're treated here I suppose. My upbringing was pretty traditional but I was still too Westernized for motherland or rather, my family. Almost everything I did or thought went against our traditions and family values. I was tightroping a near hysterical breakdown for the first couple of months, I kid you not. The struggles y'all (particularly girls!) face are real and pretty daunting (read traumatizing). I had family members of various ages give me unwanted "suggestions", ranging from my shoe choice to my morals. On the other hand, I also received love and affection from people I've never ever met before! Overall, I loved it, I loved the beautiful culture, the customs, the warm people, the delicious food, and even my crazy family. People immerse themselves into the heritage with a passion that I've never witnessed before. So, I can see how hard to it would be for someone from that upbringing to suddenly come out of the bubble and acclimate to a Western society, to find a balance that is considered acceptable by both communities. It's very tough and I'm sure most of the ABCDs here know and sympathize with you.

PS: I just realized you're a mod at r/India. For all the hate that sub gets, I still enjoy it at most times. :)