Oh my god, I am so sorry.
If you'd like to put your fiance in touch, please have her send me a note. I've learned a lot about cervical cancer since I was diagnosed in December last year.
It's only 3 months of intense learning but it might feel better for her (or you, to talk to someone who has recently been through a similar situation).
She can still get insurance through the Affordable Care Act (aka Obama care). But even without insurance, she'll get treatment. There isn't any need to be overly concerned about that.
As for getting radiation only, the treatment for cervical cancer is super straight forward and dependent on staging and metastasis. My primary tumor was 4.5 cm and caused similar problems. I didn't have incontinence but I had back pain for the same reason your fiance had incontinence - the tumor was crowding my insides.
There could be good news yet! Hang on!
Cervical cancer staging is a little weird. It happens upon pelvic exam. So her doctor looked at the tumor, guessed about it's size, and appointed a stage based on that alone. Until imaging or surgery, there's no real knowing what's happening in there.
My doctor- one of the best in the country, staged me at 1b upon exam. Once she removed the tumor it was found to be significantly bigger and I had distant metastasis. They don't change the stage. The point being, stage 1 cervical cancer doesn't mean much because they can't tell what's going on until they get some imaging done or go in there and cut shit out.
Tumor size isn't everything. It's all about metastasis.
Man, I want to be positive for you but it all seems cheesy in the face of this disaster. Everyone is different but for me, it helps to break down my time on earth into little palatable segments.
I got super stressed in the car the other day, carrying on about death and disease and mean people - grabbed the visor and slung it around because the sun was on my face. Then I realized the sun was on my face - it's warm outside! My GOD IT'S FINALLY WARM! I put the visor back up front, rolled down the window and admired the mountains - breathed in the wet spring air. You know why? Because there's a 35 to 40% chance I won't have the opportunity to enjoy this all again.
So what. I have cancer. It's still a beautiful, fucking, day. It's up to us how we spend whatever time we have. I will NEVER regret wasting a day with my face in the sun instead of crying about shit I can't change.
Your fiance? You HAVE A FIANCE! SOMEONE LOVES YOU! And you love someone! What a wonderful thing! What a wonderful, fucking life!
Ugh. I love you too, for what it's worth. If there is anything at all I might be useful for, please, send me a note.