You have to fight an exact copy of yourself to the death, how do you outsmart yourself?

I'll become ultra aggressive while he's still busy trying to talk his way out of the fight. Stupid, nerdy me will be totally surprised and unprepared. He'll probably counter by trying to find a weapon so I'll get in close and use my big belly to keep him trapped. Then I'll pin his arms, he'll hate that and try to break free but a quick head butt to the face will have him begging for mercy. That's when I bite. Hard. On his nipple. He'll stop fighting and try to push me off so I'll kick him in the balls and grab his left shoulder (the pussy has nerve damage there) and he'll fall to the ground. From there I can stomp the shit out of him and he'll quickly submit. If I have something heavy I'll smash his skull in. If not I'll use my belt and choke him out.

He's no match for me!

/r/AskReddit Thread