My abusive wife came back. When she left I had been "sober" for a while, but being alone I started to drink like I used to. Like around a 1.75 a day. I drink more now than I did when she was bitching about my drinking causing her to leave, but somehow it's okay now. It's funny because I hate her guts, but I can't function well without her. We're both codependent addicts. Sometimes high functioning. As I puked my stomach lining into my sink full of dirty dishes this morning, she filled a glass of water for me. That was nice. It's weird. I'm going to unintentionally kill myself if I keep this up, and i'm okay with that. Fuck the fear.