[fighting with myself] 3some gone wrong

please forgive my spelling and grammar I'm using cell and I'm not great at writing .

So to start of me and my girl have talked about our fantasies . Hers was to have 2 guys at the same time so I consider it and when we had sex I would tell her dirty things about it and made scenarios witch got both of us tured on and so on.... well came the day that I decided to to find someone to make her fantasy true. I've read a few posts here about it and we made a secret word in case one of us decided to pull the plug on it and set some rules. Before heading to hotel I got really nervous and though I should get viagra incase my fried down there wasn't gonna get up I've never taken one before but I didn't wanted to ruin it .So when we got to hotel and guy arrived my hear started beating and I froze lil and i wasn't getting tured on. She laid on bed and I just kissed her while the other guy played with her time went by and I till wasn't tured on and I didn't wanted to pull plug in didn't wanted her to fell bad and then they guy started fuking her I felt so weird all I was doing was holding her hand and she was sucking me but I was not hard I was so off and the darn pill didn't work I didn't know what to think. he came and then went to clean himself up i felt relive but I knew my gird didn't came so I've felt bad then the guy came back to bed put another condom and proceeded, by that time I felt that if was just him enjoying the time but she wasnt that tured on ether then she wiper on my ear to go and do her but u count I was not hard I wasn't tured on it told her I can't she didn't heard me and asked me again and I said it a bit louder ( I can't baby ) so she froze and I just told the guy to stop he was respectfully and stopped and asked if everything was ok , I said yes told her to take shower while the guy got Rd and left after that it was just silence I felt bad this was not as i though it would ,we talked and she told me she didn't enjoy it ether and that she loves me ,but that didn't made me fell good I'm blaming my self since I looked for the guy and brought it up to do it I really adore her and love her but I feel so horrible and wierd I don't want this experience to ruin what we have built but at the same tines I can't proses what's wrong with me has anyone had any similar ocasión

/r/sex Thread