I see you checked the cheater's handbook not everything is black and white and i am pretty sure (from personal experience) that you are rewriting the history of your relationship to justify your actions (one more tip in cheater's handbook). So honey you know where i can see other colours in affairs? Only if someone is suffering from trauma bonding and and lives in a physically abusive marriage and use an exit affair as a way to escape from that. At your case you just slept with an other guy and had the "epiphany" that you are not happy in your marriage. You know in IC you could find out if you were unhappy. So gimme a break. Use these lines to people who are not familiar with adultery. I worked so much with my counselor to understand how these things work and yeah i find it pretty funny every time people are using these lines on me