For those wanting closure:
First Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ke8m8/my_28f_smart_funny_charming_boyfriend_30m_has/
Second Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ksf9t/disturbing_update_my_28f_smart_funny_charming/
Sorry for taking so long to update. I have gotten a lot of messages asking me if I'm alright and if he hurt me when I confronted him.
I am physically fine
Thanks to /u/ki10_butt especially. I did ask the 'friend' for the ex girlfriend's contact info, and he gave it to me.
I told her almost the same thing that I told his friend, and asked whether she could confirm that or not.
She asked me for my number. I gave it to her, she called me and told me to GTFO of that relationship. She said that she's worried for my safety. Apparently he had cheated on her, and when she found out and confronted him, he beat her senseless and told her that, if she said anything, he'd kill her. She was afraid of him and told her coworkers and friends that she had a bad mountain biking accident.
I actually felt bad about confronting him after a 16 hour shift (I don't really know why, I guess I just didn't want to believe that any of what I've been told was true) but I had to do it for the peace of my mind. I had printed out the Facebook message prior to his arrival. He came home and I told him we had to talk. I know I always hated the 'we need to talk' speech, but he was totally calm. He just said 'Yeah, sure, whats up?'. I handed him the chat log. He skimmed over it (He didn't even read it. I saw him look at the names, smirk, then skim over the rest)., faked a smile and said
'If you take a stranger's word over mine, then that says a lot about the trust you have in me.'
I apologized (again, I was totally taken aback by his calm reaction) and asked him why anyone would make up such lies about him.
He shrugged and said 'Well, if I'm such a bad guy apparently, why am I not in jail yet?'
I literally didn't know what to say. I expected him to deny it like any sane person would, or to apologize and fall to his knees.
'You can choose to believe what these no-names say about me and get the fuck out, or you can trust me, your future husband' (we had never talked about marriage, ever btw)
I hesitated for a few seconds, because I was so fucking confused and scared at the same time.
I told him that I was gonna stay at my own place until all of this was sorted out. He shrugged and said that that was alright. I left and went to my place. Since then he has changed his number, changed the locks to his house (I have a key and tried to at least get some closure, I know, that was a bad idea), and every time I rang the door bell no one has answered.
I have no idea if anything that has been said about him is true, I don't know what the fuck happened. We have had no contact since I confronted him. He was such a loving and gentle guy when I met him, but then shit just blew up in my face. It'll take a while to get over all of this, and to be honest, I can't make sense of this at all.
I did message the friend again and told him what happened, and he just told me 'Well, I told you so.' (roughly translated).
TL;DR: Apparently he abused his ex gf. He kicked me out of his house, changed his number and locks and now we're done. I am confused as fuck.