Finally mustered up the courage to post this online.

Actually, as a matter of fact, no, she could not; I study traditional Wing Chun and temple Northern Shaolin, and while I'm a far shot from a master, I do train for combat, daily. She's in amazing shape, but is not a combatant. Let me repeat that, in case you're not listening: SHE IS NOT A COMBATANT. SHE DOES NOT TRAIN TO FIGHT. She could absolutely out-stretch me, her flexibility and control is amazing, she can do acrobatics that I can't even get off the ground for (kip-ups too hard), and even a few things she does could be combative - but she doesn't spar, nor trains to have that timing or understanding of her movements, and importantly, doesn't study techniques and breakdowns, which are required to know in the first place to be able to fight well. Consider Wushu practicioners in China - they are doing amazing examples of combat forms from the Shaolin Temple, but while their Tun Da and Chum Sam will look exponentially better than mine will, when we're in a back alley being attacked, they're useless and I'm the one saving your ass (or trying, I'm not trying to make myself out to be an invulnerable badass, just pointing out that I'm no yokel), because when it comes down to it, they've been dancing and I've been fighting, and practice makes perfect, as we all know. Quite literally, wushu practicioners do not learn the martial aspect to the forms; and neither does she. Would her "phone book kick" hurt if I got caught under the jaw with it? Of course! She's got a lot of strength in those legs just to hold it up like that! The problem is getting it to there without me doing anything about it, which is the issue - she doesn't train to know how to do that, and as such, could not, in fact, kick my ass, or for that matter anyone's who has actually trained to fight in real combat. Let me be clear about something else, while this comment is floating around -0-; at best, in a perfect world her style is a descendent of mine, and doesn't contain the fullness of content, and this world is neither perfect, nor is she, nor am I. ... I'm not trying to discount her accomplishments, but you can't attribute things to her that are false, and saying she could kick all our asses is disingenuous when she's, herself, not a combatant.

/r/circlejerk Thread Link - i.imgur.com