You could be me. My darknetmarket of choice went down, so my bitcoins and my order of 5 grams of speed is now somewhere in the digital nirvana and my planned relapse is now in full effect in forms of grams of caffeine and pseudoephedrine, as my addiction needed some form of OTC substitute.
Speed (amphetamine) is cooked somewhere in poland or the netherlands in improvised labs and has a purity of eighty percent as max. For clarification, prescriptions of amphetamine are almost impossible to come by here, even with diagnosed attention deficit disorder, although I heard of some people were prescribed speedballing by taking buprenorphine and amphetamine or methylphenidate in combination.
Speed purity on the street can range from five to forty percent and most of the time the weight is made up of coffein and some other, sometimes more harmful, fillers. The Hells Angels are big players in the drug business here, but they are "VERBOTEN" by law now in most federal states of germany. But most of the chapters simply changed their name to e.g. "Red Devils" or something like "[Reference to Hells Angels] supporter club" and their criminal business goes on.
Crystal (street name for methamphetamine here) is hard to come by in certain regions farer away from the czech border (where most methamphetamine is cooked traditionally) but I heard the more you go south to Bavaria, the more common it is and many junkies switched from injecting heroine to injecting crystal.
Anyway, I am hyperfocused now and with my substitution I don't even miss the high I get from speed and the comedown is much smoother. If you can get your hands on L-Tyrosine, take about 5 grams to boost your experience or to smooth out the hangover. I don't try to cushion my crash with benzodiazepines as benzo-addiction is a crazy habit to kick. "What goes up most come down!". Half of the time I take stimulants the high is worth the low of the next days, although I try not to binge. But I miss the euphoria I get from speed, so I can get a temporary grip on my depression. But depression and stimulants are a bad combination, each time you take them if you are depressive you send your mood one step down in the long-term.
Psychosis is a bitch to handle. I am glad I have some Quetiapine (Seroquel) to calm me down if the shadow-business of the shadow-people starts to act. Quetiapine is better in the case of psychosis because with benzos you can get a nasty rebound-effect with the psychotic features being stronger once the benzos wear off.
(Heil Hitler = Pseudopunk). They are acting out of nowhere, if you think of them they will come and get you, simply look out of your window to see the next car passing by with passengers and drivers checking you out, being paranoid and sexy at the same time. The walls seem to breathe and the shadows seem to speak to you in a nonverbal way, which you think is understood by most of the humanity because it is embarassing to think that only you have a comprehension of this nonsense going on after speeding two days without sleep. This is a meta-interjunction because I try to fit in.
My neighbour just visited me for the first time in the four years I've been living here. He fetched a delivery for me. He seems to be nice but I think I'll see him only a few times in my lifetime, because he has a bureau next to my house but only because he told me I now know that the building is inhabited. I thought it was used for some sketchy things. Anyway, this is some pseudo-rubbish I was writing simply for the sake of acting out my supressed emotions and thoughts and missing the high I get from amphetamines, hooray. It's not even funny.