This is what works for my wife and I - we each have our own accounts and we both work. My earnings fluctuate wildly (self employed) between minimum wage and very high earnings.

I pay the bulk of the bills simply because I set them up and I know my account numbers off the top my head, so it was always easier that way.

If I'm earning well I'll send some cash to my wife's account or let her know it's the kind of month we can treat ourselves. If I'm operating on minimum takings* then she sends me some and were careful that month.

Day to day we just do our own thing - we don't police minor purchases. Anything over a 100 or so will normally warrant a conversation. We regularly catch up with who has what cash to hand and joint expenses (meals out etc) just come out of whoever holds the most cash. If one of us runs low the other will just transfer some cash over.

It sounds a bit odd to write it down, but it just kind of works for us. We're very open, but the split accounts means we're still independent and get some privacy but the openness and sharing means nobody loses out.

We originally avoided joint account because it ties your credit history together. Now we're married with a mortgage that matters less, but it's never been an issue.

She's actually leaving work for a while soon and I expect well do the same. I'll transfer an arbitrary amount each month and she wants more I'll transfer it and pass more over next time if we can afford it. We're both fairly responsible so there's never been a trust problem.

Just cos this is Personal Finance I do want to add that my business account has its own reserves. I have a minimum (healthy) level and when things are good I take what I like, ensuring the reserve remains. When things are slow I take the bare minimum to cover our base bills, even I'm well over my minimum. Hope that makes sense.