Financially independent Asians with strict parents: why do you listen to/care about their opinion?

I think it depends what you mean by caring about their opinion or listening to them?

I go about it as "picking your battles". My parents are not perfect and there are certain things I do resent or I find toxic on their side. But by and large, I don't find them as bad parents. Just unfortunate that they also didn't get the emotional support they needed as children and the cycle continued to us. Over the years I have seen them trying to change, whether successfully or not.

By and large, I have pretty much drew my boundaries very early on in life. It resulted in many fights and probably, just giving up on both sides of either party listening. I would say largely, I just go about and do what I want. They interject and try to make me listen but by now, they know when I've made my mind up, nothing they say will make me budge.

So where does caring about their opinion comes in? Well, there are certain things that my parent's advice do come in handy due to their experience. I don't see why I have to divorce myself from accessing their wisdom and experience where applicable.

Further, regardless of the fights we have, one thing I've always established with my parents and it has never broken is trust. My parents 100% trust me that I won't make stupid mistakes. I've never drank or smoked or do anything behind their backs. Not because I was scared or anything. I genuinely don't see a bloody reason to be doing any of those things. Throughout my entire upbringing, I've established grounds that though I may be arguing with them and talking back which they detest greatly, by and large, they don't need to worry about me fucking up in any way. Reaching adulthood, there is a certain amount of respect I have earned from them, so much so, there are times my mum will genuinely be asking me for my view points in certain situations.

This is something I don't intend to lose so if you're asking why I care about their opinion still, I care about not ever breaking this trust and their opinion of me as a daughter who can stand on her own two feet.

By picking battles, it's exactly as it sound. If it's something I fundamentally disagree with them, I won't hold back. But if it's in matters I really don't care to have an opinion or the result doesn't affect me either way, why bother wasting my energy? Why pick a fight when I don't have to?

I have imperfect parents. I am fine with that fact. Who has perfect parents anyway? At the end of it all, I do know that they care about me and they did their best. I can't make them change but I can certainly control how I interact with them to keep any chance of fights or over involvement from their side to an amount that I can manage.

/r/AsianParentStories Thread