Fired by my therapist

I'm sorry this happened. It must feel so devastatingly painful. I hope that since you wrote this, you've gotten some sleep and are feeling even a tad bit better by now.

To address the current self harm/suicidal feelings, please keep the prevention hotline & text line numbers handy and start looking for a new therapist right now.

If I were in your shoes, I think that I'd try my hardest to shift my perspective of the situation from "i've been rejected/abandoned" to "my drinking and lying about it has pushed even my therapist to have to set hard boundaries and sever contact with me".

I'd seriously sit with myself and let that sink in. They have the same right that everyone else in your life has to enforce boundaries with you. And they have. So what now? Pick yourself up, and do better next time. I know addiction is hard, but you currently have no other great option but to face that shit and start getting to work on it. AA can be a total crock of shit if you look at it that way, or it can be extremely helpful if you are able to tweak some bits of it to fit your own beliefs better.

Don't let this be a roadblock, let it be a catapult instead. Be a Phoenix, as fucking cheesy as that shit is, I believe it will fit in this case :) Hang in there.

/r/BPD Thread