I don't think the poem was deliberately misgendering, it was cutting corners to add to the punchline and make it easier to understand, as was often done in poems written during the time the game is trying to simulate (a blend of late middle ages and early 17th century).

I felt it was very apprent that the joke was making fun of the dead person for being an idiot, that's usually what gravestone poems do in games like these, and I felt no different about this one.

I think the biggest part of the outrage was over the portrayal of the trans woman as someone using deception, which in itself is a little flawed, since the trans woman wouldn't even think about that, since she considers herself a full woman. The man also just saw a woman.

The poem however implies that fictional firedorn found out somehow, be it in the act of afterwards. Were it in the act I can see how surprise could have gotten the better of him.

If I dare leaning out of the window I'd claim that most hetero men are not overly interested in sexual activity with a trans woman that might not have had sexual reconstructive surgery, as it may be the case in a universe portraying a time from the 15th to 17th century. All the poem did was overdraw this to make a punchline, which people took offense to.

Touchy subject or not, this whole debacle is mostly about people not being able to take a slightly crude joke. And the general populace is very fond of crude jokes and always has, probably always will be.

Personally I, despite considering myself very open minded (inb4 blah blah 'mansplaining'), didn't find it to be colosally hilarious, but just rather fitting the style of the game. To me it was people not being able to take a joke.