The first time someone told me to practice mindfulness, I thought they were simply dismissing my frustration. But it really did help me to stay grounded and to not let my thoughts run away with me. You can find apps or free guided ones on YouTube. A few of the apps offer free trials.

You’re at the age where they’ve figured out their legs and just want to be constantly mobile. They’re now able to get into a million and one things that could cause grievous harm. It’s stressful trying to keep them alive, and on top of that be an active and present husband for your partner.

Some days for me it was just about survival. If I had to put the kids in the car and drive around for two hours until they fell asleep so I could get some quiet, then that’s what happened.

Counseling was the best thing we ever did. If it’s available to you, I would give that a shot. If you can’t, I’ve found speaking with older, married couples that you trust to be beneficial as well. In all of this, it’s very difficult to not fall into the trap of just becoming the baby’s parents. Do you guys still go out on dates? It’s so helpful to remember who you were before the kid. Individually as well.

Making time for the things you love requires coordination between you two. It shouldn’t be an issue for your partner to keep him for a few hours so you can go do a thing that’s not chasing him around the house. And Vice versa. Sometimes it has to be all hands on deck but not always.