[first time fantasist?] Not considered this before, but...

Which now I regret and wish I hadn't actually been so hasty in shutting down something my partner suggested which may have moved us forward.

"Hey, you know, I was thinking and I'm really glad you brought up the fantasy the other day, where you would be a doctor? First I want to apologize, I regret how quickly I sort of 'shut that down' or kind of ran away. It wasn't something I was expecting, but I guess that is the point of being good at communication - being able to handle the unexpected, and also, when you don't quite get it right the first time, coming back to it and saying, 'hey, let's talk about that some more', right? So: let's talk about that some more."

And then talk about it some more with her.

In regard to who's doing it for who - it is really common for someone to do something for a partner (talk dirty, go dancing, shower together, whatever) and then in the end find that they love it as much or more than their partner does.

I think one of the really important things about having a good sex life is not knowing how it will turn out, but trusting your partner enough (their intentions, your communication, the commitment to the relationship, etc) to go ahead and find out how it goes. Lots of things that are exciting as fantasy aren't always so great in real life, and things that seem not so great in concept turn out to be a lot of fun in practice.

You just have to find out.

A lot of posts like these are basically, "I want to try a new food, but what if I don't like it." Well, if you don't like it, don't eat it again.

/r/sex Thread