let me explain. i dont smile a lot, stone-cold most of the time, dont talk much,due to my condition and working my way through life, girls avoid me for that, though i am funny, guys always wants to be around me as i have a dirty sense of humor. and for the get paid and get laid thing, i dont go with that, as it's meaningless and empty thing "for me at least". and i already said what i seek deep down, bring able to connect or a simple friendship with a girl or at least understand how to talk with them, period. but it seems impossible for me. idk why, though recently started looking for help in the subreddits with no luck. its like god telling me "no girls for you fu##er"