I understand your struggle. I was on meds for depression/anxiety and functioning super well, and specifically went off to TTC. I was kindof holding on for the most part and then I had a chemical pregnancy and that sent me spiralling into the worst I've been in years, but the most I can do is focus 100% of my energy on taking care of myself, and my hopefully one day future child. I also only see my husband a few days a week and BOY are those days apart hard. It is so lonely, especially when I'm not allowed to see any other family or friends due to restrictions in our area.
I am going literally crazy as well (my chart is so all over the place I dont even KNOW what DPO I am, if any), and am back in weekly therapy for the first time in a long time. I found on opposite shift days with my husband, having long phone conversations on lunch breaks and coffee breaks or sneaking away on a non-break just to call him and chat is helpful. And watching some lighthearted, silly TV shows on Netflix, and reading books is helping - but that's just me. Escapism and living in the lives of characters is like, my #1 healthy coping mechanism.
I have set a date for myself to test on right now, and am not going to even look in the general direction of a test until that date. Not sure if it will work for me or not, but with my last 2 cycles, even if they were BFNs every day I was peeing on SO MANY STICKS and it didn't help my anxiety at all, so I'm going to try and see if waiting without peeing on sticks will be easier. I think it is really different for each person.
(And just in response to your joke about ending up in the psych ward..there are a few medications that are considered generally low risk for pregnancy. If it does get too much, there ARE options. The choice to go off of medication, and the choice to stay on or go back on are both equally valid. You need to do what is best for yourself and your pregnancy, and sometimes that does include medication, and you can absolutely talk to your doctor about that balance if you need to <3 )