fite me irl

It was a lot of reasons really, but obviously the last flight I did was the main contributing factor. My last flight was to New York, this was my third time there so I was planning on not partying for once and going to see the Lion King instead. One of the other crew members was from Canada and his gf had just broken up with him, so he was a bit devastated and invited me to go out drinking with him to help drown his sorrows. You don't have to ask me twice to drink, so I agreed. Pretty much right after we reached the hotel we headed to the bottle shop and got a bottle of Jack Daniels to share. Went back to the hotel and finished that bottle off in about 30 minutes between the two of us, so we were already pretty intoxicated by this point after a long flight with barely any sleep. It was only about 5 in the afternoon, so we headed to Times Square and got some tickets to one of the many comedy shows. This show had one of the guys from Chappelle's show, he played Ashy Larry or whatever his name was. Solo, he was terrible. We had a couple of tequila shots and left. Went to get a couple slices of Pizza and started asking random people for cocaine. We failed. We then headed to the meat packers district and hit some clubs there, doing more tequila shots. We were completely wasted at this point, so no girls were willing to talk to us, so fuck it, we headed to the strippers. More shots at the strippers and this is where I completely blacked out, and had to get the other crew member to fill me in on the details at a later point. Basically I was pretty much paralysed, couldn't walk or talk at all. So he has to try and carry me back to the hotel, he was completely wasted too, so he tripped and dropped me on the footpath. I went head first into the concrete and opened up my head, luckily someone walking by saw this and called an ambulance immediately. I got rushed to hospital and went into the emergency departed. They wouldnt let the other crew member go with me because we weren't related. So I woke up the next day in emergency not having a clue what was going on. I passed out again a few moments later. Next thing I remember was getting wheeled down a hallway in the hospital, again, passed out moments later. I remember waking up and passing out a few times in a new hospital room, and the doctor would come in and ask me some questions, I'd try to answer, and then I'd pass out. So this went on for a few days. Finally I came back to reality and was able to communicate with the doctor properly. He told me I had been in hospital for 5 days, 2 days in emergency, and this was the 3rd day in observation. I was told I had a large contusion on my head, and that my heart beat was dangerously irregular and they had to shock me (no wonder my whole body felt like i'd been hit by a truck). He also told me they found traces of drugs in my system (can't remember what they were, but we definitely hadn't been successful in finding any drugs that night) and my blood alcohol content was .291 (holy shit!). I had a few questions of my own for the good doctor, first of all was has anyone been in contact with Emirates? He said no, we don't even know who you are. Turns out the paramedics had stripped me of all my clothes, and somewhere along the long my passport, wallet, phone, everything was lost. Oh shit. I was still completely out of it and don't remember a whole lot about the rest of my stay there. I do remember that when I was allowed to leave I had no clothes, so I had to leave in one of those hospital gowns with my bare ass showing. The security guy at the ground floor thought I was a mental patient trying to escape. Got back to the hotel and went to front desk to check if my room was still available and if Emirates had been in contact. They gave me a new key to my room and told me to check my messages in the room. I had a bunch of messages from Emirates wondering where the hell I was and what the hell had happened. To their credit they treated me really well. I explained everything to them, and they told me to wait in the room while they made arrangements for me. They called back and told me to go to the Australian embassy the next day to arrange an emergency passport so I could fly back to Dubai. This process would take about 3-5 days and they would arrange for the hotel to give me a daily allowance for food and drink, I think this was well over $100 per day, way more than what I required to be able to eat each day, especially with the 50% discount on food and beverage. They told me to wait in the room when I wasn't out arranging my emergency passport. Fuck that. I went out shopping with the excess money. Beats headphones were the in thing at the time, so went to bestbuy and got a pair of those haha. So finally I get my passport and fly back to Dubai in business class, slept like a baby the whole way. Once I got back, I went to see my manager and she told me that I would be placed on leave WITH PAY(!!!) while they investigate what happened. Again, I was told to stay home in case they needed to contact me. Hell no. I knew I would be fired, so I figured I'd make the most of my time left and went out each and every night. The investigation took a whole month and they never contacted me during that time. I was out partying every night, maxing out three credit cards, shouting drinks at the bar etc etc. Finally they called me and asked if I'd been checked out by a company doctor. I told them no, they never asked me to. So that same day I went into the company clinic to see a doctor. This was the biggest joke, he went onto his computer and googled an alcoholism test. He looked over my shoulder while I answered the 10 questions, and forced me to change my answers when he didn't like what I clicked on. I failed the test and later that day I was called into the office and got fired. Now in Dubai if you have outstanding debts they will throw you in jail. They asked for my passport so they could cancel my visa, I said no problem, I'll go home and get it. If I gave them the passport there was a chance that this would give them a chance to check my bank details and not allow me to leave. So I went home, packed as much as I could, and booked the next flight out of Dubai on a rival airline. So that was the main reason I got fired. I also had around 70 sick days (mostly for flights I didnt like, or was too hungover to go) and 12 absent days (couldn't even be bothered calling sick, or still out partying). I also got gang bashed by 5 Japanese guys in Osaka which also required a hospital stay. TL;DR - I got wasted on a layover in new york, spent a week in hospital, and another week in new york arranging an emergency passport to get to dubai. Maxed out all my credit cards in Dubai from partying for a month while they investigated my case. Fled Dubai after they decided to fire me.

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